Akatsuki's Newest Member!
by Bleeping Bloop
Summary: A new Akatsuki joins the ranks! Everyone loves her! Written because I am sick and tried of all the OC's running around. Pure crack in it's highest form. Only for people who want a good laugh!
1. Introduction

Introduction

* * *

This was very hard for me to write and I want to clear up any confusion you might have with the rest of the story. The narrator is a liar. Megan, is not the narrator. They are two different characters.

The Akatsuki members are mostly acting in character. It's up to you to figure out the lies!

Example:

"Whatever," Itachi said smiling at his wonderful girlfriend. Did you catch the oocness?

Another:

"Sure," Konan said swinging her massive boobs in Hidan's face. Now would Konan really do that? Basically you can only trust what the Akatsuki say.

Example:

Pein jumped up and down happily. "No I didn't," Pein lied.

Pein said he didn't so he didn't. No matter how much the narrator says he did the Akatsuki tell what actually happen.

When you see:

"I think we lost her."

"Yeah we did!"

The narrator doesn't know what's going on but you, the reader, does! A downside is that you don't know who's saying what but it doesn't really matter. A benefit to writing this way is that every time you read it something new can happen! It's all about the power of imagination. Whenever Zetsu talks the** bolded** words are his dark half and normally written words are his white side. If you see anything that doesn't make sense feel free to tell me by reviews or message!

Thank you - Psychoticmemory


	2. Morning Greetings

Akatsuki is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Megan is my own hellish creation.

* * *

Megan woke up from her bed in the Akatsuki lair. Her perfect skin glistened from the small window. She threw back her covers and placed her delicate feet onto the cold tile. Megan stretched her perfect body and grabbed her Akatsuki cloak from her closet. She cupped the door knob gingerly and quietly opened the door. Her sparkling hair flowed behind her as a choir of angels sang from the heavens. She gracefully floated to the kitchen, sat in a chair opposite to the door and waited for her teammates to greet her.

"Who the fuck are you," Pein asked. He was wearing skinny jeans and a my chemical romance tee-shirt. "No I'm not! I wear what I always wear!" Megan playfully batted her eyelashes at him. "Seriously, how did you get in here and why are you wearing the Akatsuki cloak? Are you someone Hidan brought home last night?" Megan winked at her boss. "You know what? Fuck it. I can't even run a secret organization without people popping up everywhere." The leader walked away, his converse squeaking on the tiles.

The next two people to bask in Megan's presence were Zetsu and Tobi but I don't like them so they left immediately. Following the boring people were Akatsuki's hottest couple Sasori and Deidara. "Hottest what?" Sasori asked groping Deidara. "I'm not groping him." Sasori tried to keep his hands off the feisty bomber but he gave into temptation and started making out on the table with his blonde lover. "The one time I ever leave my room and I have to deal with this shit." Sasori said leaving his blonde lover hungry for more. He sashayed his hips away turning around once to wink back at his lover.

"Who are you, un?" Deidara asked rubbing his nipples. "What?" Deidara said, pretending to be confused. Megan stared at how silly Deidara was being. "You're really creeping me out just sitting there, un." Deidara purred seductively slightly biting his rock hard nipples. "I'm not doing that! I'm pouring cereal, un!" Deidara bit too hard on his right nipple and it started to bleed. "Sasori no Danna was right. I'm leaving, un." The blonde whisked himself away to his boyfriend who he missed dearly. Seeing Deidara run away Kakuzu and Kisame knew that he was running off to his seme boyfriend.

"Told ya, you owe me twenty bucks," the banker said holding out a greedy hand. "I'm not a banker I'm a ninja." the banker said. "I'm a ninja!" The banker started to get angry. "I'm a fucking ninja! I kill people and sell them! A banker does not do that!" the banker-_nin_ said. "Better."

"Where's that voice coming from," questioned the fish guy. "If anything I'm more shark-like," corrected the shark guy because he thinks he knows everything. Suddenly he caught on fire and ran from the room. "I'm not on fire. Nor am I runni- oh my god! How did I catch on fire? What the hell is going on?" the fish guy screamed. Nobody messes with me.

"Umm," Kakuzu said sliding near the doorway. Megan flashed him her million dollar smile as he was running far away. Probably to a bank. Then the shirtless Jashan walked in with a blue-haired slut.

"It's JASHIN!" the albino screamed. "I'm not a fucking albino!" he screamed louder. Konan looked at Megan with intense jealously wishing she was as pretty and strong as her.

"No, actually she's just really creepy. Sitting there and smiling," Konan lied. Megan waved at that slut Konan. It was hard to see Megan's niceness behind Konan's massive cleavage so instead Konan flipped her off.

"That was me!" Hidan said trying to get attention like his parents never gave him. "Fuck off you don't know anything about me!" he said through tears.

"Hidan, where is that voice coming from?" Konan questioned. Forgetting what happened to another blue-haired member that asked too much. "Is it Jashin? Wait, what?"

"No. Jashin doesn't sound as evil as this voice." Hidan hollered stabbing himself. "I didn't fucking scream or stab myself! That hurts!" He yelled even louder. Megan giggled at how much blood he was loosing. "Oh Jashin! My ears are fucking bleeding!" Hidan said.

"Argh! It sounded like a unicorn dying!" The slut said. Rubbing her fingers over Hidan's exposed chest. "Never!" she said licking Hidan.

"Its okay you can do it." Hidan said very sexy like. "Well at least that was the truth."

"Who are you?" The bluenette she-devil asked before being set on flames. "What?" In 5, 4... The blue bitch ran away to make out with Kakuzu at the bank.

"Hehe, I kinda like you." The sliver-haired sex machine said. He saw Megan sitting all alone and sat next to her. "Sure why not." He said grabbing a seat. Hidan stared lustfully into her deep eyes only escaping from his dream when she blinked. "Umm sure. Hey can you make some fucking bacon appear? I'm starving!" He cussed. Megan looked inside her sleeve and pulled out a dish full of hot bacon. She placed her angelic hands on a piece and held it out for her man to get. Suddenly Deidara appeared!

"Don't mess with me! I'm just putting my bowl away, un!" he said limping because Sasori tore his ass up form intense gay sex.

"Haha fucking queer!" Hidan said. At the same time he was jealous that Sasori had Deidara all to himself.

"No I'm not! They can be gay together all they want!" Hidan swore, begging for attention.

"Hehe you jealous, Hidan?" Deidara said flaunting his girly figure.

"It's okay, Hidan. Be with him. Yaoi before henati," Megan's angel- like voice sung causing flowers to blossom.

"Oh my god! What was that?" Deidara whined.

"Argh! My ears are fucking bleeding again." Hidan bitched like the fucking pansy he is.

"Go off and be together." Megan said through tears.

"Please stop talking!" Deidara cried.

"No, I need to get away! That voice! Argh!" Hidan said pulling Deidara away to cheat on Sasori.

Finally Megan's boyfriend walked into the door wearing just his satin black boxers. He had a loving glaze in his eyes as he walked by her. He grabbed his usually black cup of coffee and sat down next to his love. Megan looked into her boyfriend's eyes lovingly. Their love is envied by the gods for the intense passion they share.

"What?" Her boyfriend asked not taking his sight off of his lovely girlfriend. They were simply lovely together and all the Akatsuki were jealous of their lovely love.

"I don't know you," Itachi sarcastically remarked. But just in case he forgotten I'll remind him. Itachi spared her life when he killed all the Uchicas because he loved her so much. She joined him in the Akatsuki where they have been dating ever since.

"That never happened; the only one I spared was Sasuke. You didn't even spell your alleged surname right and I have never even seen you before today," Itachi sarcastically said again. Megan laughed at how silly her boyfriend was being. His ears didn't bleed because she has the voice of an angel.

"Who...are you?" Itachi said with joy, not pain at hearing his wonderful girlfriend's voice.

"Megan, the newest Akatsuki!"

* * *

A note from me: I had a fucking blast writing this. Love or hate it I'm defiantly writing a second chapter. Just tell me what I can improve on.

On a side note, I'm sorry Akatsuki I honestly feel so bad for you. **Forgive me.**


	3. True Or Dare

-Truth Or Dare-

Akatsuki is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Megan is my own hellish creation.

* * *

Megan lounged in the kitchen with her boyfriend, Itachi, until he left. This clearly makes sense. Megan sat at the kitchen table before becoming bored. Then, she wandered around the base in search of her teammates. Once again, makes sense. She found them all hiding in a room with a long hall and a white board which had "How to get rid of intruders" scribbled on it.

"Hello," she said in her magical voice. Everyone let out shrieks of happiness that their favorite member has arrived.  
"Please voice in the sky," Deidara pleaded. "Change her voice it burns."  
"You have to play a game with me," Megan said, her voice sounding like playful angels.  
"Anything just shut-up!" Pein said, switching his usual my chemical romance tee for a black and red striped sweater. It had a stitched of a heart over his. It made him look rather emo. The fabric for it was "Who the fuck cares about what I'm wearing?"  
"I want to play truth or dare. Meet me in the living room. Now," Megan said, her voice touching the heavens. She turned away and gracefully floated down the stairs.

"It seems like the voice controls our surroundings but not our free will."  
"So is it god, un?"  
"Ridiculous! I am the only god."  
"Wrong sinner! Jashin is the only god."  
"We need to get rid of her," Zetsu said appearing in the story. "Ah! **It found us**." He said running downstairs or else his prized garden would suddenly disappear. If the rest of the Akatsuki knew better than they would follow him. The let out a moan of enjoyment and met Megan in the middle of the base.

Megan sat alone looking like the perfect being that she is. Occasionally a light breeze would blow by and get some of her hair sparkles on the ground making her face shine in the dreary place. Her teammates were walking towards her taken aback by her increasing beauty. They were lucky to be in the presence of such a magnificent creature. Of course, her boyfriend Itachi had to fight for the best spot which was at her right hand side so they could be lovely together. I know he did not roll his increasingly blind eyes at that! He sat right next to Megan trying to resist his urges. Sasori and Deidara obviously sat next to each other so move your old ass Kakuzu! Besides Megan and Itachi, SasoDei were the most envious couple.  
"Seriously," Sasori asked. "How do we, many I come off as gay!" the fruity artist said. He leaned close to Deidara to whisper dirty things they were going to try with Deidara's mouths. "Say that again and I'm leaving," the puppet man threatened, even though his prized Kazekage puppet was lying in out in the open. He got the sense knocked into him and started to make out with Deidara.

It was quite clear that the sluteriffic Konan was extremely jealous of the love Megan and Itachi shared. She wished someone, anyone loved her like Itachi loves Megan, which is probably the reason she is such a whore. Even though everyone knew she was a slut Megan was always nice to her. Megan flashed Konan a warm smile. She wondered if Pein knew Konan was such a slut.  
"Don't worry," Pein whispered to his hoe bag. "She'll be gone soon."  
Kisame sat next to Itachi, smelling like fish sticks. He, for some unknown reason, was acting awfully quiet. Tobi came running in like a retard. "But Tobi's a good-" boy? Yeah we know. It gets really annoying after a while.

"Ya know I may not like that prick. But that was kinda low." Hidan said completely out of character because he didn't swear. He added a silent prayer to redeem his character. His money-loving partner was sitting next to him counting his money.  
"I wish there was money here and when have I ever done that?" He asked, flipping though the bills.  
"There was that one time when you got money," Hidan didn't swear. "Oh sorry! Fuck! Happy?" Hidan said, basically on his knees for the attention.  
"Okay! Let's play!" Megan said.  
"Hey, her voice didn't pierce my eardrums," Deidara said pulling away from Sasori for a brief moment.  
"Hehe I'll go first! Itachi, hun, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Itachi said kissing Megan's hand.  
"Okay! I dare you to kiss me!" Megan said, blushing slightly.  
"No," Itachi teased. He was such a flirt. He leaned in close and kissed her cheek leaving a warm feeling on her skin. Megan giggled. "I will never kiss, let alone touch you."  
"It's your turn now," Megan purred to her boyfriend, which is Itachi.  
"Fine. Zetsu, truth or dare?" Itachi asked.  
"Dare," Zetsu said. "**No truth it's easier**."  
"To late you already said dare," Megan giggled.  
"**No he said dare. I said truth**," Zetsu argued. Clearly forgetting about the well-being of his flowers. Tobi started to say something but duct tape appeared over his mouth.  
"Whatever," Itachi said trying to contain himself. He was always the happiest to play truth or dare. "I dare you to get me a glass of water." Megan couldn't contain her excitement! Her boyfriend, Itachi, had come up with the best dare ever! She embraced him in a passionate hug. He did **not** try to pry her off and returned it with even more love. Zetsu came back from Itachi's marvelous dare, jealous he didn't have the kind of love that Megan and Itachi had. It was probably because he was a hideous freak of nature that nobody wanted to love. Not to mention his personality issues. He gave the wonderful Itachi, Megan's boyfriend, his glass of water and sat down next to the slut Konan, the only one nasty enough to ever show that monster any love.

"It's okay," she said. "I don't think you're a monster." She placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to stop that pansy from crying. If he'd man up he'd remember it was his turn to ask.

"**Right**," he said. "Tobi truth or dare?" Tobi let out a squeak as a reply because he couldn't figure out how to take the tape off of his mouth with out the others seeing his face. Idiot. Zetsu pretended he heard him say dare, or that could be another personality forming.  
"**We're not as crazy as you'd think**," he said to himself, he has a very bad habit of doing that. "Stop putting us down!" Zetsu commanded. Unrelated to what was going on, somewhere very far away a spotted orchid died. "No! **Not Mandy!** Tobi I dare you to hug Konan!"

Tobi got up and gave her the biggest hug. You could actually see Konan's STD's crawling from her to latch onto Tobi. "Oh be quiet!" the prostitute said.

"Tobi," Megan said, a beam of light falling over her. "You can go take a shower if you want." She didn't want to call Konan a huge slut in front of the others but at the same time she worried for Tobi. Tobi happily skipped away.

"No fair he gets to leave!" Deidara panted while Sasori spanked him. "Stop saying that! We are sitting here not doing anything, un." He moaned while Sasori tickled him with his stomach cord.

"That's not what it's used for," Sasori said exploring Deidara's body.

"You two can also leave. I don't think Itachi, my boyfriend, likes watching you two." Megan said looking at her boyfriend Itachi, who clearly missed what Kisame and him used to do during missions. Kisame, being part shark had something very unique

"Just stop right there," Itachi said not wanting to relive his gay past before Megan.

"Don't anger it," Kisame wisely said. While the ex-lovers bickered, Sasori carried Deidara away bridal-style so they could continue their horny adventures behind closed doors.

"Well since Tobi is scrubbing himself clean," Megan said acting like a true leader. "I'll ask the next question. Hidan, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Hidan said. He was known for not being the sharpest tool in the shed and this was no exception. "What are you talking about? My scythe could cut you to pieces." See what I mean. Megan scratched her delicate head and tried to decide on a question. Having an IQ over 9000! It was hard to decide on just one for her victim.

"Kakuzu, can you stop counting your money and focus on the game," Megan innocently asked. She always cared about others.

"I wasn't counting money. And I was paying attention," he mumbled.

"Haha you're so cheap you can't even pay attention!" Megan said. Everyone in the room cracked with laughter at how hilarious their goddess was, except for Konan who was fuming with jealously at how funny, smart, pretty, brave, awesome co-

"Nobody laughed and I am not jealous of that," Konan lied. She is so jealous of Megan. "No I am not," she lied again. "Okay I'm not not not not not jealous of Megan,"...Konan may or may not have lied.

"Hidan, I dare you to kiss Kakuzu!" Megan said, returning to the plot. The blood drained from both their faces and they nervously glanced at each other. Megan knew they were in love.

"We are not in fucking love and there is no fucking way I am kissing him!" Hidan lied. It was obvious that the moment Pein paired them up as partners that their love was sealed.

"I want to kill him." Kakuzu said. Mispronouncing kiss as kill.

"You can't escape it," the wannabe leader said. "It just twists your words around!"

"Fuck you!" Hidan yelled at the ceiling like an idiot.

"Never this is ridiculous! I can see Sasori and Deidara but us?" Kakuzu said, hiding his true feelings.

"I'm not fucking gay!" Hidan lied. Hidan leaned in closer to his love getting inches toward his face. "May the great Jashin burn your soul for all eternity." Hidan playfully tugged on Kakuzu mask revealing his lustful lips. "You are fucking sick!" they stared into each other's beautiful eyes until their urges gave in and they locked lips.

"I think I'm going to throw up!" Kakuzu did not say because he was exploring his lover's mouth with his tendrils. "Those are used for killing! Not exploring mouths! Especially Hidan's!"

"Jashin! Smite me now! I'd rather live a hundred deaths than this shit!" Hidan said finally pulling away from his lover, blushing like crazy. Kakuzu started to play with Hidan's hair and the group let out a sigh that the star-crossed lovers were finally together.

"I think Kisame passed out," Pein said. He wishes he had a gay lover but all he has is that ho Konan.

"Its about time you two got together!" Megan said wiping her nose free of blood.

"Quick! Hidan! Her blood, eat it!" Kakuzu said.

"Shit you're right!" Hidan said grabbing Megan's wrist and licking her precious blood. His skin morphed to his black ritual mode and he quickly drew the Jashinist symbol. "I'll send you to hell and Jashin will have no mercy on your soul!"

"Just do it!" Kakuzu said.

"Shit I don't have my pike!" Hidan said. At the same moment Konan launched 1000 paper weapons, Pein threw a black charaka receiver, Zetsu bit Hidan's leg, Samehada went flying, and Kakuzu punched his teammate so hard his brain turned to gelatin. "Hahaha! Damn you!" Hidan said laughing manically.

"I'm bored," Megan said with out a scratch on her.

"What the fuck?" Hidan asked.

"Oh! Hehe I'm immortal silly. Can you all leave I want to have a word with my boyfriend, Itachi." The immortal Megan said pulling her boyfriend closer. Everyone left the lucky Itachi in a heart beat.

* * *

I would like to thank those people who reviewed, favorited and followed this story. It really motivates me. Thanks. I also promise Akatsuki **will not **stand for this.


	4. Emotions With Itachi

Emotions with Itachi

Akatsuki is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Megan is my own hellish creation.

* * *

Megan sat next to her wonderful boyfriend, Itachi. She laid her precious head on his lap. He smiled, "I don't smile," Itachi said twirling Megan's perfect hair. "Nor do I twirl hair."  
"Itachi I think we should rebuilt our clan," Megan said.  
"No." Itachi said firmly.

"Did the voice follow us?"  
"I don't think so."  
"That voice doesn't like Tobi! Tobi's been so good too!"  
"I hope Itachi is alright..."  
"We need a plan."  
"I think we need to get rid of the girl to get rid of the voice, they came together."  
"Like you and Dei-chan did last night? Ow!"  
"Now is not the time."  
"**She has to be more than immortal.** When we attacked Hidan she didn't even get a cut."  
"Just give me five minutes with that bitch I'll teach her a lesson."  
"No. That wouldn't be effective."  
"We don't even know her powers. She could quite possibly kill us all."  
"Why don't we behead her, un?"  
"The brat is right. That usually does the trick with Hidan."  
"No look at all the paper cuts Hidan has. She should have then to."  
"She has to have a weakness!"  
"I think we are going to have to deal with her until we find it. Maybe we can use her to capture the jinchuuriki?"  
"I don't think she's evil. The voice kept calling her an angel."  
"We aren't evil though."  
"We're fucking evil. We kill."  
"That idiot is right. I think she just wants to play some sick games with us."

"...and that is why we need our clan revived," Megan finished.  
"If your logic is true that makes us cousins. We don't need retarded babies for my clan," Itachi said.  
"But 'Tachi!" Megan whined. "We need our sharingan to continue!"  
"I highly doubt you have the sharingan," the weasel said. "Don't call me weasel. My name is Itachi Uchiha." Megan closed her eyes and when they opened up again the Sharingan burned brightly.  
"Now do you want to revive our clan?" Megan asked.

"I don't know what could kill her!"  
"Be creative, un!"  
"Poison?"  
"Jashin?"  
"Paper?"  
"Tobi?"

"Itachi you can be my boyfriend the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours," Megan said.  
"I don't know you. How can you possibly expect people to fall in love just after a few hours?" Itachi asked. Unaware of how the world works.  
"Have you not realized the amount of power I posses?" Megan asked.  
Itachi pondered the situation he was stuck in. He could be with his one true love or he could be with his true love.  
"Why do you love me?" He asked.  
"Cuz your pretty, sexy, hawt...the list is endless!" Megan happily said.  
"You are madly in love with me because of my looks?" Itachi asked. "That's shallow."  
"Haha Itachi you're so funny," Megan said squeezing her boy tighter.  
"Grow up," Itachi coldly said like a douchebag. Megan, his loving girlfriend, has shown him nothing but love and this is how he treats her? Megan's perfect eyes became clouded with tears.  
"Are you breaking up with me?" She asked.  
"We were never together."

"Guys I'm worried about Itachi. We couldn't last an hour with her."  
"Itachi can take care of himself."  
"They are being awful quiet and someone is crying."  
"I hope it's not Itachi."

"How can you do this to me?" Megan asked. "We've been together for years and this is how you treat me? I only have the best interests in mind for our clan!"  
Itachi sighed, being the cold, heartless bastard he is. "I'm an s-rank criminal. What else did you expect?" The least you could do is comfort her. Itachi groaned and placed a hand on his Ex's shoulder.  
"Erm...don't cry you're umm pretty."  
"Really, Itachi?" Megan said. Her perfect face stained with tears.  
"Sure."  
"I don't think I'll ever get a boyfriend as pretty and caring as you."  
"There are plenty of fish in the sea."  
"Are you saying I should date Kisame?"

"The crying stopped..."  
"Fifty says Itachi is dead."  
"Not the time, Kakuzu."  
"We still didn't come up with a plan."  
"Hopefully she'll just leave."  
"We can't count on that."  
"Tobi has a plan!"

"There are guys outside of the Akatsuki. I hear my brother's single." Itachi said comforting his amazing ex.  
"No his hair looks like a duck's butt."  
"He still didn't get his hair cut?"  
"Nope."

"That's what we should do!"  
"Not bad, **I also have an idea**."

"I like the evil people better," Megan said. "Akatsuki is like a sex factory. I mean look at everyone, all gorgeous. You, Pein, Hidan, Deidara and even Sasori are all amazingly good looking!"  
"People are more than looks," Itachi said, although, he couldn't disagree with her logic. It's like Pein was only recruiting S-rank criminals and part-time models.  
"Who do you think likes me Itachi?" Megan asked.  
"I don't know."

"Okay we'll do Zetsu and Tobi's idea."  
"I still hope she just walks away, un."

"Oh come on," Megan cooed, "You must know. You spend all your time with them."  
"Doesn't mean we talk," Itachi said. "I'd think they'd like you better if you didn't force them to make out and be gay."  
"You can't deny true love," Megan hummed. It's been awhile since I described how perfect she looked. Well, it's like God himself sculpted her out of the whitest and purest cloud. Megan's hair was and will always be shiny and silky smooth. Her body order smelled like fresh peaches in the garden.  
"Can I go now?" Itachi asked.  
"No Itachi! You're my new bff!" Megan happily said. "Plus we need to think of a new activity for the group to partake in."  
"Why me? Can't you bug Deidara?" Itachi asked.  
"Naw. I'm a bit of a homophobic person."  
"Then why do you keep on mentioning it?"  
"Because that's true love! I make exceptions for that. Don't you agree Sasori and Deidara were made for each other? Being artists and their cute nicknames for each other."  
"I give up."  
"They spent all day working on an art project, Sasori gets bored and fools around with Dei. Oh that would make a great story!"

"Maybe Itachi will kill her?"  
"Guys I really think she should check on him."  
"Fuck that!"  
"Agreed."  
"What if he's dead?"  
"Well if you're so worried Kisame **why don't you go down there and interrupt them**?"  
"She couldn't take us all! Stop acting like cowards!"  
"Oi! I ain't no fucking coward!"  
"Then why don't you go down there!"  
"Quiet guys," Konan, the resident slut said. "See what you did!"  
"We were just talking about how pretty Megan was," Kakuzu said. Megan gracefully slid into the room they were hiding in.  
"Come on everyone," she said majestically. "Let's do karaoke!"  
"No," most of them said.

"Where's Itachi," Kisame asked.  
"Okay well we can skip that story cliché and go straight to the yaoi," Megan said excitedly. The whole room cheered with excitement. Sasori and Deidara squealed extra loud, they finally got to shine.  
"Fine," Sasori said. "We'll do it. Just no more gay sex."  
"Yay!" Megan screeched. "Come into to the living room!"

* * *

A note from the author: Fuck yeah! Over 400 hits, more than 10 reviews and 5 favorites! You know who you are and I thank you so much. I might have to put this on hold because I want to work on other pieces. Unless you want me to finish up so Megan won't be haunting you. Why yes, that was a threat. Reviews make me smile and anonymous reviews are **on**! No excuses bitches.


	5. Sing Along With Akatsuki

-Sing Along With Akatsuki!-

Akatsuki is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Megan is my own hellish creation.

* * *

Everyone followed Megan into the living room holding hands and skipping happily. They saw Itachi happily smiling at his friends. Megan, that little angel, lead all her friends around the cheery Itachi. They threw their hands in the air and a rainbow of sparkles fell on him, making him giggle like crazy. "We are the Akatsuki," Megan sang, everyone followed her in chant. "We are the Akatsuki! Rawr! Rawr! Mighty mighty Akatsuki. We got Pein who wants peace! Kakuzu the banker! Deidara who likes to blow stuff up!We got Sasori the gay puppet! (I'm not gay!) Kisame the fish dude! Itachi, my biffle for life! A huge whore! A skitzo plant! A good boy! A cultist! And me, the most perfect person in the world! We are the Akatsuki! Rawr! Rawr! Mighty mighty Akatsuki. Yay!" Everyone proceed to throw up rainbows

"Hn," Itachi squelled. A pink bow landed perfectly on his head.

"What did she do to you, Itachi," Kisame asked sitting next to his partner.

"We broke up," Itachi said through tears, already missing his love.

"When did this stage get here?" Pein asked. Somehow he managed to switch the red and black sweater he was wearing for a very revealing black fishnet shirt. Also there was a stage complete with a fog machine, lights and a karoake machine.

"Okay Pein you can go first! Sorry best friend which is Itachi, you have to wait," Megan chimed.

"Im not singing," Pein said flatly.

"Oh come on! Be a good leader for once! I don't like that shirt you are wearing. Change it."

"I'm a good leader," Pein whined changing his fishnet shirt for a blue ruffled blouse.

"Haha," Hidan laughed. "Pein you look so gay!"

"Sing Pein sing!" Megan chanted. "Or else a certain sealing statue might break."

"Fine. I pick the song," he said.

"Nope!" Megan said. The lights dimmed as Pein climbed on the stage. The fog machine hummed and the light of the karaoke machine shined. Pein coughed a bit and nervously gripped the mic. A guitar started playing and he leaned closer.

"Pain, without love. Pain- did you even put any thought into this? I mean seriously. I am more than my name. Sure it's a good song but it's so over played it's lost all meaning. Why can't I do a song I actually like?"

"Yay! Great job Pein!" Megan said clapping her delicate hands. The door to the Akatsuki lair swung open and two shadowy figures stood where the door used to be.

"OMG it's my biffles!1! Like hi guys," Megan said running up to her friends.

"L1ke hiz Megan," They both said. The two figures are Megan's real life best friends Adam and Lock. They embraced each other in a group hug. Lock had the star headband because it looked super cute on her and Adam was super hot.

"Hey Megan?" they asked.

"What?" she eagerly replied.

"Brothel!" They all started cracking up at the inside joke everyone is supposed to understand.

"So much for an elite organization."  
"Who are they, un?"  
"They better not be fucking immortal to!"  
"Best not to angry them."  
"At least we don't have to sing," Kisame said eager to get onto the stage. "Nope."

"Lyke omg Meggerz is that the Akasuki?" Lock said.  
"Hehe yeah." The angel replied.  
"Cool," Adam said. "Cool. How are you and Itachi doing? Cool."  
"Actually," Megan said. "We broke up today."  
"What?" Both her friends said in shock. "You guys were the cutest couple!"

"Hey, Sasori. Look at the boy's forehead protector."  
"Mhm?"  
"Its from Sauna."  
"Don't let him recognize you!"  
"I'll switch to another body."

"Where'd Sasori go?" Megan asked. The Akatsuki glanced at each other. They didn't want to lie to their perfect member, or else.

"Bathroom!" Deidara said.

"Oh! Okay," Megan said. "Hey best friends do you want to watch the Akatsuki sing?"

"Yeah!" They both screamed.

"Oh my Jashin! Let's be like the judges on American Idol," Lock said.

"Oh your Jashin that's awesome! Let's call it Akatsuki Idol," Adam cheered.

"Dont use Lord Jashin's name in vain! You fucking heavans," Hidan said.

"It's okay," Megan said. "We're all Jashinists."

"Actually," Lock said. "I'm in love with Shika so I can't be a Jashinist any more."

"Oh, that's okay," Megan said. "Religion isn't even that important unless you're dating Hidan."

Hidan's eye twitched a bit. Probably something about religion not being important. "Fuck yeah, it's about religion not being important! Religion is life! Without it souls are doomed to damnation by the all powerful Jashin! Although I do hope someone meets Him very soon. Not that the bitch deserves it."

"Who was going next," Adam asked.

"Kisame," Megan squealed. The Akatsuki glanced over at their fishy friend and Itachi gave him a small pat on the back. He wearily got onto the stage, and bubbles started to form around him. A few cardboard fish held on by strings fell from the ceiling.

"Is this what I think it is," Kisame asked. Jamaican steel drums started playing. "I am not singing Under The Sea." Megan shot him a cold glare that could freeze hell. "Umm," Kisame shuddered. "The sea weed is always greener, in somebody else's lake."

"With a Jamaican accent," Hidan yelled, laughing. Most of the Akatsuki shot him a glare, feeling for their comrade. Ew.

"Under the sea," Kisame bellowed. "Under the sea!" By now most of the Akatsuki's ears were bleeding.

"Next," the three original characters said. Kisame had a look of overcoming sadness and extreme joy on his face.

"Who should be next," Megan asked.

"Deidara," Lock shouted.

"If it's dude looks like a lady, I'm not doing it, un," Deidara said.

"Itachi then!"

"No."

"Pein?"

"I already went!"

"Kakuzu!"

"No," Kakuzu said. Megan pulled up a silver briefcase from her robe.

"Would you do it for all this money," Megan cooed. Kakuzu shifted his eyes and mumbled something along the lines of yes. He climbed on stage and stared at the audience. 'Rich Girl' started playing and he continued to stare at the crowd, not so much as moving a muscle. When the song finished and the crowd (Tobi and the OC's) clapping died down, he walked over to the angel.

"Money. Now," he commanded.

"That was so poetic," Megan said crying. Her and Lock embraced in an epic hug and let the tears flow. Megan handed over the briefcase, wiping the tears from her eyes. Kakuzu snatched it and sat down. He flipped open the lid, his greedy eyes shining.

"Why is it full of bacon," Kakuzu asked, eye twitching.

"I think shes made of bacon," Hidan whispered, a red head with a mustache sitting next to him. Everyone glared at this strange person.

"Hiya Saso-" Tobi tried to say, but was stopped by the new person's fist.

"Who is that," Megan asked.

"I don't know but he's sexy as hell," Lock grinned, nudging her friends.

"Awesome disguise Danna," Deidara said, like he knew this mystery person.

"I'm sorry," Megan said. "This is an Akatsuki only party."

"Oh no," the stranger said getting up to leave.

"No stay," Lock exclaimed. "I love you!"

"Okay as long as you're paired with someone you can stay," Megan smile. Jessh, isn't she just sweetest thing?

"So does that mean it's OCxOC," Adam asked.

"I guess," Megan said. "Lock don't do anything that I might need to change the rating for."

"Don't worry," Lock said wrapping an arm around her new man. "Megan you need a new man too."

"But who," Megan asked.

"Duh," Lock said. "You're in an elite organization of sexy ass criminals."

"You're right," Megan said scanning her victims. Her eyes zoomed past Kisame and Zetsu. Itachi was her best friend and she didn't want to ruin her friendship. Pein is infested with Konan's diseases. "That leaves, Kakuzu, Hidan and Deidara."

"You realize I'm old, right?"

"You fucking wish bitch!"

"No way you don't even appreciate art, un!"

"Megan," Adam exclaimed. "Look at the time! Lock and I have to go to bed."

"You're right," Megan said. "See you tomorrow."

"Until then my love," Lock said giving her mystery man a good-bye kiss. The two OC's walked out of the base.

"Well since every one is done singing," Megan said. "Bed time!"

"It's noon," Konan said.

"Who cares," Zetsu hissed. "**Beats hanging out with this bitch.**"

"Zetsu, you're never going to get a woman with that attitude." Kakuzu pondered that thought.

"Goodnight," Megan said floating from spot and into her room leaving a trail of sparkles.

* * *

**Author's note:** Thank you so much for the reviews! They really motivate me! Don't you hate it when people randomly throw their friends in stories? I know I do! Hence this parody. Lock is Lockright another author on here. Go check out her stuff because it's seriously awesome. Adam's just some guy. I'd hate to shamelessly plug but I am writing an epic tale between the love (parody) of Kakuzu and Chiyo. It only has twenty five hits XD So, if you somewhatly liked this, go check it out. Thanks, and like always, anonymous reviews are **on**.


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